When Alcohol is the Cure for Everything
by Five Minutes Til Bedtime
Summary: Kurt gets a bit tipsy during Rachel's party and ends up kissing Puck during spin the bottle. Kurt is tired of waiting and Puck is feeling a bit heteroflexible. Blaine is not amused. One-shot.


Title: **When Alcohol **_**is **_**the Cure for Everything**

Summary: Kurt gets a bit tipsy during Rachel's party and ends up kissing Puck during spin the bottle. Kurt is tired of waiting and Puck is feeling a bit heteroflexible. Blaine is not amused. One-shot.

Fandom: Glee

Word Count: 1619

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><p>Kurt swirled what was left of the beer in the bottle in fuzzy contemplation. He wasn't drunk, not yet anyway, just a bit tipsy. He knew enough to know that he hadn't planned to drink at all tonight. To lose control in front of Blaine, his crush, would be mortifying – or so he had thought. He would have never guessed the Blaine himself was a drinker – and a loud, wild drunk at that. By the time Kurt had seen that Blaine was unlikely to remember anything about Rachel's part come morning, much less how Kurt acted, he was tired of sitting on the sidelines watching the handsome dapper boy he knew turned into an obnoxious drunken moron. He'd grabbed a bottle out of the fridge and decided to let loose. Gaga knew he needed it after being stuck at Dalton for so long.<p>

Frowning at the unhappy thought, Kurt downed the last of the bottle and looked about. Brittany was half naked and dancing around the room with Quinn and Tina as Artie looked on hungrily, her bra clasped like a necklace around his neck. Mercedes and Santana, the sad drunks, were weeping together on the couch. Finn, Puck, Mike, Blaine and Sam were doing weird guy things in a huddle on the other side of the room, hooting a hollering every few minutes like a pack of monkeys if monkeys ever got drunk – or ate too many bananas…could monkeys get drunk on bananas? Probably, the little banana whores. Kurt though Brittany would know but he was suddenly feeling to lethargic to bother to get up and ask her. The only person missing was Rachel, who suddenly burst in from the kitchen with a bottle in her hand. Kurt knew by the grin on her face what she was going to say long before she opened her mouth.

"Let's play spin the bottle!"

Everyone looked up. No one looked surprised at the cliché proposal coming from Rachel. Most were so drunk that they didn't even grumble as Rachel tugged them into a circle on the floor. With regret, Kurt pulled himself up from the sofa he was seated and whoa – did Rachel's house always move like that? Maybe he'd drunk a bit more than he thought.

Flopping himself on the floor between Mercedes and Sam, Kurt didn't feel too particularly excited as Rachel prattled on about rules and got constantly shot down by Santana and Puck. _"There are no rules in spin the bottle, Berry. Welcome to high school." _After all, the only person here that Kurt wanted to kiss was Blaine and he definitely didn't want to do it drunk. He was _romantic, _so sue him.

"Enough already, Rachel, just spin the damn bottle," snapped Mercedes finally. She had perked up a little and was now eyeing the bottle longingly. She, apparently, didn't share Kurt's view on drunken kisses.

Rachel tried to pout but seemed to forget why half way through. "Okay!" she said. She took the bottle and spun it – hard. It went flying out of the middle and into Brittany's lap. Rachel blinked in surprise. "You're not Finn."

Brittany squealed and launched herself across the circle. "Yay! Berry flavored kisses!" She landed in Rachel's lap and proceed to plant her lips on Rachel's, definitely going past the five second rule. Rachel squirmed for a bit and eventually managed to pushed Brittany off, despite the other girl's attempt to kiss her face and neck. Santana reached over and yanked Brittany back down ignoring her whine of, "But I didn't get to taste the berries!"

The game continued quickly from then. Artie spun and kissed an indifferent Quinn. Then Finn landed a peck on Tina, followed by Quinn and Santana locking lips which didn't faze either of them. Sam got Mercedes, pulling out some applause from Kurt. Then it was Kurt's turn.

He took the bottle indifferently, actually surprised that one of the boy's had objected. Then, again, it was likely to land on a girl (or Blaine) and they would likely just chicken out if it did land on them.

The bottle spun several times around. Kurt's eyes tracked it as it slowed down – Quinn, Mercedes, himself, Sam, Mike, Blaine, and…

Puck.

Kurt blinked for several seconds, looking from the bottle to the teen confused. Everyone had exploded into hoots and hollers. Kurt looked up and saw Finn elbowing Puck and laughing. Then Puck looked up and caught his eyes. He grinned.

"Come here, Princess."

Puck unwound himself and lean across the circle. Taking a surprised Kurt by the back of the neck, the self-proclaimed sex-shark crushed their lips together.

Everything disappeared but the feeling of Puck's lips pressing against his own. They were hot, not warm. Hard, but soft at the same time. In the back ground Kurt could dimly hear the others counting, reaching three and four and five and…

Puck's tongue suddenly swiped across Kurt's lips. He jolted. Did Puck really mean to…? The tongue darted against his lips again; Kurt said screw it and opened his mouth. Puck's tongue quickly sought dominance in Kurt's mouth. He prodded Kurt's tongue until Kurt started prodding back. After that, the alcohol in Kurt's system did it's work and he stopped worrying about anything. Kurt wasn't sure how long the kiss lasted, only that it felt forever. Eventually, needed to breathe, Kurt pulled back.

Everyone was in hysterics around them. They were shouting so loudly that Kurt couldn't really make out the words. Nor did he really care.

Puck smirked at him. Kurt grinned back. They both returned to their positions in the circle as everyone freaked out around them caught between disbelief and laughter.

"Thirty-two seconds!" screamed Mercedes. "You _made-out _with Puck for _thirty-two seconds_!" She didn't seem whether to be proud or disgusted by it.

Kurt just knew it had felt damn good. "Yep," he grinned, popping the 'p'.

The game quickly deteriorated from there. Eventually Rachel got tired of not being the center of attention and declared it was karaoke time. As everyone agreed, Kurt got up and stumbled over to the couch again, stretching out along it like a cat in sunlight. He was a_ lazy _drunk.

He was content in his position for about three seconds before a shadow fell over him. Opening his eyes, he was slightly surprised to see Blaine standing over him wearing a hurt puppy-dog expression. The implication of such didn't quite make it past the fog that hung around his brain.

"Hi," he said smiling lazily, "Why aren't you singing right now?"

Blaine pouted. "You kissed him."

Kurt frowned in confusion. "Right now? No I'm not."

"You kissed Puck," repeated Blaine sourly. "You _kissed _him."

"Oh," said Kurt. "That." Thinking about it, Kurt grinned. "Yeah, I did kiss him. He kisses good, Blaine. His face is like…like the sun or a super-hot hotpocket – only made out of lips. Boy lips taste good."

"Why?" asked Blaine. Kurt forgot he was standing there.

"Why what?"

"Why did you kiss Puck."

Kurt didn't like Blaine's tone. "Why are you mad at me? He kissed me."

"And _you_ kissed him back!" snapped Blaine.

"Well, yeah, he tasted like the sun, Blaine," said Kurt slowly, eyeing Blaine oddly. He was pretty sure he'd just explained this already. Maybe Blaine was too drunk to understand him. Why were they still talking about this?

"You're not supposed to kiss him!" shouted Blaine suddenly.

"Why?" asked Kurt, he was liking drunk-Blaine less and less. Why couldn't he just go to sleep? Sleep sounded like _such_ a good idea. Best idea since, like, ever.

"Because you're not supposed to kiss people! You just – don't get to do that!"

"Why?" yawned Kurt. "I'm tired. I get to sleep, right? I'm going to sleep now."

Kurt closed his eyes and leaned back his head. He was _sooo_ comfy. Why were couches always so comfy? He should replace his bed with a couch…only then he couldn't have pretty bed sheets. Did they make couch bed-sheets? Kurt would buy a really pretty set…Alexander McQueen or – or –

"Oomph!"

Kurt grunted as something heavy landing on top of his body. He opened his eyes to stare in confusion as Blaine's face was suddenly inches away from his own. What was he doing on top of Kurt? And did he always have that dimple there…weird. Kurt poked it. "Boop," he said. Yep, it was real.

Blaine growled, actually growled. Kurt could feel it rumbling in the chest pressing against his own. When did that get there? Then suddenly lips pressed against his. Kurt's eyes opened wide.

_This was the sun exploding! _

Blaine's lips were rough and demanding and very, very necessary. Kurt didn't know how he had lived without them there before. He certainly couldn't imagine doing so ever again. Kurt opened his mouth and attacked Blaine's mouth. Teeth were fun. He decided he liked them very much when he tried biting Blaine's bottom lip and the other boy _moaned. _Kurt smiled. He _liked _that sound.

He _didn't like _his arms trapped under Blaine's. They needed to _feel_. Kurt flipped his body, sending them both crashing to the floor. Blaine grunted but Kurt laughed as he landing on top. Hah! Take that Blaine.

Only his lips weren't on Blaine's and that was unacceptable. He quickly rectified the problem, now using his hands to tug Blaine's long pretty curls. Gaga he _loved _Blaine's hair. It was _his._

He was _never _letting _his _Blaine go again.

Around them, unnoticed, the glee club hooted and hollered.

"Get a room!" shouted Quinn.

What a brilliant idea.

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><p>The next morning Kurt found a single text message waiting for him.<p>

_You're welcome, Hummel ~ Puck._

Mission success.


End file.
